Speaking of which, I am finally feeling like I'm getting the hang of this toddler + newborn business. For the past few days I have been running errands like a BOSS. (Kade tells me that I used to use the word "boss" way too much. So apparently it's not cool to say anymore - but I don't care because he says "totes" and "jelly" (jealous) and "brah" and "yolo" all the time. According to him he only says it ironically but I'm not convinced.)
Anyway, running errands like a BOSS. <-- I am deserving of this emphasis because I was so nervous to leave the house alone with two kids for the first 6 weeks after Millie was born. And if you've been following along, yesterday marked week 7 of her existence on the earth. Eventually I decided that I can't live my entire life waiting for Kade to get home from school - because let's face it, he lives there now - so I put my big girl pants on (that still don't quite fit yet) and went to Old Navy yesterday.
Turns out Old Navy was inside the mall. The Mall! I had not mentally prepared for a mall trip with a toddler and newborn. But apparently, the big guy upstairs knew I could use a boost of confidence, because the stroller and baby carrier were conveniently in the back of my car! So I strapped Jonah in the stroller, and he let me. Then I strapped Millie into the baby carrier, and she let me. They usually scream and kick and protest, so I was feeling pretty great. As we strolled in I decided not to press my luck and go straight to Old Navy, find the shirt I saw online and get out. But the kids were so good that we ended up at Forever 21 and the soft pretzel place too! And I'd say the whole trip was fantastic, but there were two things that were dumb.
1 - some kiosk guy said "hey you want more babies strapped to you?" as he was laughing at my "circus." He was foreign, so I don't think he was propositioning me for anything, just commenting on all of my children. Yes, all two of them. But I just laughed with him and strolled faster before he could try to sell me whatever hair or skin miracle potion was on his shelves.
2 - I went into Charlotte Russe for the first time ever, and less than two minutes in I was on my way out. Not because they didn't have anything for me to look at, but because there were all these girls in there watching me struggle to maneuver my stroller between the racks. All I wanted to do was shout, "You know I'm your same age, right? I could wear this stuff if I wanted to!"
Basically, I've been struggling with my age lately. Or, rather, the perception of my age. Two kids really does something weird to ya - at least to me. Luckily I still had a bunch of my birthday money left so today I went to Ross, my most favoritest store. Yeah, yeah, Ross is kind of the weird younger sister store to TJMaxx and Marshalls - but I tell you what, I've shopped at all of them and Ross is the store that always has the stuff I end up loving for years and years. So I went to Ross. With the two kids. Am I superwoman?? (Just kidding. don't fuss, I know I'm not. My mom had seven kids after all, and I was one of them.)
I picked through everything (because again, the kids were so good!) and brought home a bunch of stuff that fit into at least two of three categories: different than my usual style, easy to nurse in, and didn't need any extra layers. Then I tried them on. Then I got to this outfit:
Which I snapped a picture of and sent to my mom and sister with the question, "who do I remind you of?" Brooklyn immediately texted back, "Hahaha mom!" Yep. I'm pretty sure my mom has this exact outfit in her closet. No really, she does. Go ask her. Now, I know my mom is young (had me at 19) and trendy, and beautiful... but I just don't know how I feel about dressing like my mom when I'm only just barely 24! I mean, I already sound like her on a daily basis. And it's not a bad thing because she's not a bad person, but I can't shake the feeling that all this put together makes me seem like a 43 year old.
Ah, oh well I guess. I think I only feel weird about my situation because I'm not in Utah anymore. In Utah, I'd fit right in - in fact, I would even be considered lagging behind! But here, in their twenties, everybody's like Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece, jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash... no wait.
But really, I feel old. I have two kids. I have a husband of nearly 5 years. Meanwhile all the other early-twenty-somethings I run into are... well, I don't even know. But I know they're not changing diapers!
But I guess if I had to choose between their lives and mine, I wouldn't even have to think about it. Because even though they can be little turds on a daily basis, they're just too cute. Even if they've each screamed all day long, all it takes is a teeny glimmer of a smile and all is forgiven somehow (even I surprise myself when that happens). Plus it'll all pay off when I'm still young enough to run around with my grandkids, right?
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