Father's Day 2015

Father's Day in the past was a pretty simple holiday - a handmade card and a Toblerone bar usually did the trick. It always felt like such an elusive treat, highly anticipated and prized beyond other chocolate bars. Multiples times I'd get excited in the aisle of the grocery store exclaiming, "Hey! They sell Toblerones here! Let's get one for dad!" I always pictured him being so excited and astonished at my find, Jess, where did you find Toblerone bars? I simply must know!

But then I grew up and discovered that you can get a Toblerone pretty much anywhere, and observed that if my dad was ever able to choose his own treat, it was usually a box of Creamies or a cold Mountain Dew - rarely a Toblerone bar. Honestly, he probably got really sick of getting them for every Father's Day, birthday and Christmas since we were old enough to buy presents for others by ourselves. And when I say we, I usually just mean me, since I have no idea if my brothers or sister have similar childhood memories when it comes to such specific events.

If I was going to send a card this year (which I'm obviously too late for), I saw this one in a local shop and though it's not homemade, I thought it was hilariously appropriate. (Don't get offended, dad! It's just supposed to be funny)

Anyway, it's been several years since I've bought my dad a Toblerone bar - in fact I don't know if he even likes them anymore. He used to crave a fountain Mtn Dew like you crave someone else to do your dishes every night, but then all the sudden he stopped drinking it as much, and now I'm not sure if he drinks it at all. Something about how it's not healthy for you, blah blah blah... but what the heck? Aren't your dads supposed to be the one constant thing in your life? Always telling the same dumb jokes, always wearing the same plain colored T-shirts, eating the same grocery store fried chicken week after week?

But even though I'd like to think that nothing is changing while I'm away, and that everything will be just exactly how we left it when we return - I have to remind myself that nothing is ever not changing - and that boxing people up into always or never statements is truly unfair to human nature. And the fact of the matter is, throughout the past decade or so, my dad has done a lot of changing. And without going into too many details that you'd be uninterested in, I'll just say that I'm pretty okay with the path that my dad is on right now, and that I wish him luck. It took a few years, but I can say that I sincerely hope he finds happiness one day, hopefully sooner rather than later. I'd say the same to my mom - however, it's Father's Day and she had her moment of glory in the hot sun a month ago.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm sorry I didn't send you a card, Dad. I'm sorry there was no candy bar or fizzy fountain drink this year. I'll give you a phone call later on, of course. But I do want you and basically anyone else who reads this to know that I think I had a pretty dang great dad. Your dorkiness that was so embarrassing to me growing up is now the thing that makes you stand out from the rest - and this same dorky quality is what makes you fun, adventurous and always up to push an unsuspecting offspring into some mountain lake or stream and have them laughing about it once they've cleared their nose of water. I see versions of your feet, jawline and spastic eyebrows every time I look into a full length mirror, and I'm becoming okay with them. Not every girl is a clone of her mother and not every boy is a copy of his dad, and I'm not sure if I'm afraid or find it endearing that Millie will be taking these feet on to the next generation.

Anyway, it's a little corny and much longer than I intended, but I'm sure your parent heart cares a lot about this post - and don't worry, it's ok - we don't have to talk about it ;)

I love you and I hope you have an amazing Father's Day. Eat some pie!