Someone Should've Told Me...

It's been on my brain for a while now, that I should put together a list of things I found surprising about being a new mom. Mostly so I can refer back to this list the next time around when things get frustrating. And obviously it's a good excuse to pull out lots of old pictures of my handsome baby guy.

So, without further ado, here are those few things:



1. Two weeks.

   Around two weeks is when I felt life with a newborn got a little easier. Two weeks is when I got used to our new sleep schedule, it's when breastfeeding got less painful, and it's when I could finally do everyday things like sit or use the bathroom without wanting to die.

   Jonah is four months old now, and sleeping is still a little sporadic at times, but it's getting better. In my case, the only thing about the sleeping schedule I've gotten used to is the fact that it will always change. It is consistently inconsistent if you will. The first few days after we brought Jones home I was so irritable and moody that I was driving myself crazy. And once I recognized that my nights would never be as peaceful as they were when I was childless, and that there really wasn't anything I could do about it, my body was weirdly able to cope with fewer hours of sleep.

   After two weeks is also when my body was able to cope with breastfeeding. That first little while really sucked, no pun intended. But, like everyone kept telling me, it got easier with time. It's like learning to play the guitar--at first your fingers get so uncomfortably sore, but if you don't keep playing, it's not going to be rewarding or get any easier.

   Really, putting everything together, if you can get through the first two weeks you can definitely get through the last fifty of your child's babyhood. I know I don't have any personal experience with this since my baby is only four months old, but it seems logical to me that if you can take care of a newborn running on barely any sleep while sporting sore, chapped nipples and tearing through boxes of maxi-pads...well, what can't you do?

My advice: get yourself a donut pillow or sit on your Boppy.


2. Three months

This is the age when Jones started to be a lot more fun. He started to smile, coo, even laugh and a lot of other things parenting books tell you to expect from this age. But it was also more fun because he started napping somewhat regularly throughout the day. I could finally kind of plan around his naps and was able to get a lot more done. Which was very stress relieving, because for some reason I never felt like I was living up to my occupation as stay-at-home-mom unless the house was clean and at least one load of laundry done.

(but even still, I have my lazy days where I stay in my pajamas all day until five minutes before Kade gets home so he doesn't think I've stayed in my pajamas all day. It's a pretty slick plan.)



3. Laundry

Good Heavens, the laundry!

On almost all the online forums and books and articles I read during pregnancy, there was mention of laundry. So why then, did I not realize the sheer intensity of the situation? Those of you who are expecting your first, REALIZE IT. Realize that whether you like it or not, sometimes there is poop everywhere.

(I did not know how my bangs looked prior to taking this picture. apologies all around.)

At first, I had no laundry routine. However, after one especially poopy load of laundry dyed all clothes involved a pale and sickly yellow, I knew it was time to roll my sleeves up.

Just in case you're interested:

   -   Separate poop covered clothes from other, less soiled clothes.

   -   Fill a bucket or other container full of hot water, place a Tide Boost pac inside to dissolve. 

   -   Take poopy clothes and try to wash what you can out of them in a sink, then put them into the bucket of hot water to soak for 10-15 minutes.

   -   After clothes are done soaking, rinse them in the sink, trying to scrub out more poop.

   -   Throw clothes into the washing machine with the other less soiled clothes, detergent, and another Tide Boost pac.

   -   Clean sink thoroughly.

So far, this has been the only foolproof method I've tried. It's a lot of work, but once you run out of gifted baby clothes and come face to face with those price tags, it's more than worth it.

4. Motherly pride

This probably shouldn't have been surprising, since every new parent can't help but gloat about their baby all the livelong day. But I was surprised to find out just how intense I could get when I merely was suspicious that someone had beef with Jonah.

I know, he's only 4 months old, who could he have offended?

Plus, look how adorable he is!

Anyway, it's probably mostly in my head, but once I got the feeling that someone didn't like my baby--well, I felt the adrenaline coursing through my veins, my skin almost green, muscles bulging until they nearly tore through my dowdy-mom T-shirt and I was ready to start cracking skulls.

And I will, too. Just give me one good reason.

You mess with my baby, you're dead meat.

It is seriously intense how defensive of your kid you can be.
And I consider myself a pretty reasonable person.




So, those are just a few of the things that I didn't expect. I'm sure I'm in for a whole lot of bigger and better surprises along the way, and I'll write those down as they come along.

But for now, the best part of motherhood is, hands down, getting to be around this cute face 24/7.