I'm Losing It

Last week I dragged Kade to the ward blood drive. I have always thought I should give more blood, since my blood type is one of the rarer types. We signed in, I answered all the lady's questions, she pricked my finger - my iron was amazing. She took my blood pressure, and told me I could go home. 88/49 or something. I asked if I needed to go to the doctor right away, but she didn't seem worried about it. I had mentioned I had a 4 month old at home and she said the reason my blood pressure was so low is because I don't ever sleep.

My skin is obviously really upset about this lack of sleep, because I've been breaking out like I used to when I was 16 and worked at Domino's Pizza - for crying out loud! And this despite all the spinach, turkey, apples, and other fresh fruits and veggies I've been strictly eating. We almost never have sugar in the house, and even that doesn't matter. I looked up face-mapping and it said to stay clear of dairy and up my fiber intake. So I bought disgusting fiber cereal and choke it down every morning with SKIM MILK. If you know me, you know how desperate that makes me. 

I've found out I'm a little more OCD than I thought... I am living in squalor as we speak and it is driving me up the wall. I clean one room and Jonah follows me around re-destroying it. How am I supposed to keep my patience with him? How do I live in these conditions? I will pay someone $300 to come take my kids for two hours just so I can have my house clean again!! Of course, that $300 will have to just be taken out of our student loans but by now it's seeming more and more worth it. 

I know, nobody cares about what I blog about unless I am updating everyone on how my kids are doing. Well, frankly, Millie still screams just as much as ever and I'm about to take my pediatrician to court if she tells me to "wait for her to grow out of it" one more time. And Jonah is cute when he's not being a pill - and he's being a pill 89% of the time. Also frankly, I am always around my kids and sometimes I feel like I exist only to wait on them hand and foot and my identity is dissolving into a pony-tail haired, pajama pants and sports bra wearing sack of post-partum flub with a constant stream of spit-up running down the same shirt I was wearing yesterday. So pardon me if I don't feel like talking about them right now.

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That was as far as I got with this sort of depressing post before the kids got even more out of control - if you look closely in the background of the above picture Jonah is actually wrestling Millie, who started not to like it so much. 

BUT, good news, I don't feel so grumpy anymore. On Saturday I got some much needed me time, where it felt like I complained to anyone who would listen about Millie's sleep problems (which I hate doing - but they asked, so I guess it was their own fault, haha) and it kind of felt like my burden was halved. So I was grateful, but still grumpy. Then the next morning we were getting ready for church and it was as if Satan was doing everything in his power to get us to skip. The kids were ornery, we were super late, Millie had been up three or four times the night before - it was just a bad scenario. But I insisted we go to church anyway, because that's what we should be doing, dang it! After we got to church, Jonah was being obnoxious and Millie threw up about six times all over the pew and Kade's pants, but still we pushed through. Then, I discovered the reason for my grumpiness, something to blame every bad thing that had happened on, the one thing - at that point - that could make me give up and go home. And there's really no gentler way to put this for any male relatives that might read this blog than to say that it happens about once every 28 days to almost all the women in your life that makes everything around them seem so extreme in one way or another. Yeah, that. So Millie and I went home.

But now I know why my face was out to get me! I can drink real milk again!

Anyway, for those who have been diligent enough to read this ridiculous post all the way until the end, I have a special reward for you:

Another Vlog!

From our day today at Tanglewood Park where there is much more to do than you will get done in a day: