It Mite Be Killing Us

I had a little bit of a meltdown yesterday. It actually started the night before, when Millie had been sleeping in our bed for a bit, but woke up unable to breathe out her nose because it was so congested. Then, later that night (or super early the next morning - whichever suits your fancy) Jonah came in our room to sleep and he woke up congested, too. And you know what, so did I, for the hundredth morning in a row. Kade somehow seems unfazed by whatever has been bothering the rest of us, but he snores more loudly lately, and I'm convinced that's a symptom of it.

Anyway, so I was googling what the possible culprit could be, and for the first time in my desert-gal life, I read about dust mites. DUST MITES. Did you know that dust mites are arachnids? As in teeny tiny little spiders?! These microscopic spiders crawl all over you at night, into your nose and mouth and now I believe it when they say the average person swallows seven spiders per year - but in reality it's probably more like seven hundred thousand. These things are gross.

See, in Utah where the humidity is low and the Lord smiles down on His children, you only really have to deep clean every so often. Here, in North Carolina, the Lord also smiles down on His children, but my heavens do things get dirty way quicker in this climate. Dust mites love humidity. So does bathroom mold - and were you aware there is such a thing as pink bathroom mold?

Listen, my mom did a wonderful job at teaching me to clean - but she taught be how to clean a Utah house. And yesterday I became fully aware of the reason so many women in our ward here have nannies and housekeepers. How do you do it? How are you supposed to raise two small children, makes sure they're not watching too much TV, cook three meals a day, and keep your house from killing you?

(My landlord's wife reads this blog. I hope she doesn't think I'm just awful at keeping house... Nancy! I'm sorry! I'm trying to figure it out. I'm still youngish, aren't I? Can I blame my filthy bathrooms on my naivety?)

Guys. I clean my house daily. I scrub my bathrooms every week and a half-ish. I'm not a disgusting person. I don't even know why I'm telling you this.

...

No, I'm telling you this because I broke down yesterday and asked my mom to make sure our bodies made it back home to be buried - because I googled way too much and was sure we were all severely allergic to dust mites and breathing in toxic black mold - then I spent about six hours yesterday scrubbing the devil out of the upstairs, and now I feel semi-successful as a housewife. June Cleaver ain't got nothing on me.


And now, the real reason I get overwhelmed trying to keep my house clean:

Can you see him? There in the middle, sitting way too close to the TV?