This is Insanity, Robby!

I need to vent. And I'm already on the computer typing stuff, and this is basically my journal and since it's just a blog and not a business I CAN WRITE WHAT I WANT.

I'm trying to plan a course outline for this coming semester... and the Jaws theme song is playing softly in my head, though more intensely each passing day... because I don't know how I'm going to pull this thing off. I feel like my supervisor is my driver's ed teacher, but on the first day he just threw me the keys and said, "drive, kid. You've got this" and took off to Bermuda, telling me to call with questions, even though the cell service is spotty. And I do understand now that driving is fairly simple, but everyone knows that first couple times you're out on the road you are sure you're going to kill someone.

That's how I feel right about now. Yes, I may be over thinking, over reacting, and freaking out way more than I need to... but I'm going to kill someone! I'm totally going to botch up their educations they've spend thousands of dollars on! I'm going to fail everyone not even meaning to!

SOMEONE TELL ME EVERYTHING WILL BE OK.

The worst part about it is, my supervisor hates exclamation points. So I can't even convey my anxiety over my ineptitude via email to him. Though I guess that's probably a good thing...

But I just want to email him and say, "I don't know what I'm doing!!!!!!!!!"
Or, "Please help!!" Or, "Why aren't you responding immediately to my emails?!!?!?" Or, "Let me know if I'm annoying you with my questions!!!"

This is actually making me feel better. I'm getting out all my exclamation marks here.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok. Let's get back to work.


Hey! Shout out to Robby, who is the only non-mother in law who reads this still!
(laughing emoji)