DON'T PANIC

Ok. I'm panicking. A lot. I need some clarity and so I'm typing out everything that's on my brain and I don't think I'll even publish this because it will be full of run-on sentences and other kinds of errors.

But WHY DID I THINK I COULD DO THIS? Gosh. I just don't know why I said yes. I mean, I get that it's probably satan putting the fear into my heart, and that Heavenly Father will help everything all work out. But I'm so angry that I am not more prepared for this job. I should've gone into education while I was in college. Then I would at least know a dang thing. Here I am just beep bopping along not knowing anything and then BAM I'm expected to teach 20 people all the things I don't know, and I don't know how to do it either. I'm no teacher. I've taught primary. I've taught two lessons in young womens so far. Who do I think I am?

Ok. So I have to plan my course out. I need to split it into three units. At the end of each unit there is an essay. I have to give them readings, I have to teach them to read critically so that they can write critically. That's the connection there - point out things that they can adopt in their own writing. This is English 101. Basic, basic basic stuff. They're here to learn how to write well enough to succeed in their careers - which will probably not be in english. And if they are, then its up to the higher level classes to get them there, not me. NOT ME. NOT ME. NOT ME. my job is only to get them to write a decent essay. DECENT. decent. DECENT. Not my job to do anything more than that

which reminds me, I'm supposedly teaching out of an english 1020 book. or 2010? I don't remember, but it's above my level and everyone else is teaching out of a different book and all the stuff they're giving me is out of that book and I WISH I COULD TEACH OUT OF THAT BOOK because my life would be so much easier.

NONE OF THIS HAS BEEN HELPFUL SO FAR

maybe napping will be helpful. Ugh I'm such a terrible mom too. I'm not doing very well adjusting to this. I am not doing very well at all. I'm mean and frustrated and stressed and yell way more often than usual. I don't know what