Time Wasting

For the past half hour I have done nothing. Nothing. I have sat in my bed on my computer looking at nothing. Looking at everyone's nothing. So-and-so likes so-and-so-page. Whats-their-bucket is friends with Whats-her-face. What the heck am I still doing on facebook?

I tried to pare down. I tried to "unlike" all my nonessential pages (as if any of it is essential) and "leave" a whole bunch of groups that have been lost and forgotten, but honestly, I don't think it has done much at all. I'm putting on a nicotine patch for what used to be a three-pack-a-day addiction. It's not really much help if I'm still giving myself diluted doses of the chemicals that keep me going back.

I've got to go COLD TURKEY.

I know this, I do. I know it with my logic. But my emotional brain - the one that gets high off the dopamine - is saying "But wait! You use these groups and like the content from these pages all the time. Plus, your family, how can you deny your family like that?" And my heart, aching from the endless news stories of subway bombings and child rapists, is begging and pleading for my logical brain to shut my emotional brain up and just cut the cord.

Plus, all the time while I'm scrolling through all that nothing, I think to myself, "if this were 2006 what would I be doing instead?" And the answer is almost always something that is more productive than what I am doing - even if it's just sitting on the couch reading a book. Or heck, sitting on the couch just watching my kids play. They would love that. Literally sitting on the couch staring into space (in the general direction of my kids) would be more productive than being on facebook. That is some cold, hard truth right there.

What are other things I could be doing?

- Catching up on my reading of actual, paper-paged books
- Folding laundry while listening to music
- Getting my kids a drink when they ask, instead of in "just a minute"
- Figuring out how to kill the garbage disposal stink
- Scraping the paint off my kitchen chairs
- Sewing Halloween costumes
- Lesson planning for the rest of the semester
- Planning for the next YW activity
- Brainstorming other YW activities

Ironically, I could be doing any of these things now, but instead I'm sitting here blogging about how much time I waste.

I guess I've just switched from cigarettes to vapes.